


The One With the Magical Cat

by auroraphilealis (xrosepetalsx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and it makes no sense, but i thought it was cute and kind of funny a little bit, i failed you, im so sorry, just a tiny pick me up, theres a cat in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4012591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil wakes up to find his boyfriend and a cat have switched bodies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One With the Magical Cat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> It’s like 9 pm my time which means something like 5 am your time and I really wanna get this up before you wake up so forgive me if its short but this is for [221john](http://221john.tumblr.com) aka [phantatwist](http://archiveofourown.org/users/phantatwist/profile) aka Lana who I wanted to cheer up in some way, so I really hope this helps! Even a teensy bit. Even just for a chuckle. Did you chuckle? Please chuckle. (hahaha it took me 3 hours to write this wtf)
> 
> Based on this prompt ([x](http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/119496351756/person-a-randomly-switches-bodies-with-a-cat-how)) and thanks as always to beta [mostlikelyprocrastinating](http://mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com).

It’s four am when Phil rolls over with a loud groan only to find the other side of the bed empty, fingers curling into the fabric of a pillow rather than the soft flesh of his boyfriend. Confused, bleary-eyed, and desperate to go back to sleep, Phil still stumbles out of bed and rubs at his eyes, because it’s always a bad sign when Dan pulls an all-nighter.

“Dan?” he calls as he paws at the bedside table in search for his glasses. “You okay?” he asks, fingers finally curling around the black frames. He slips them on blindly, and makes his way to the doorway, but there’s no answer.

He sighs, completely giving up on the hope of going back to sleep anytime soon, and wanders into the hallway expecting to find his boyfriend splayed out on the floor.

What he finds instead is a kitten: completely grey except for two spots of mottled brown at the very tips of its ears. A kitten that is most definitely the cutest thing that Phil has ever seen, but which is also not his. Or his boyfriend’s. Or any of their neighbors’, for that matter. 

“Well, hey there, cutie,” Phil coos, getting down on one knee and offering it his hand. “Who are you?” he asks, not expecting an answer.

The kitten, who had been cowering in fear at the top of Phil’s staircase when Phil had left his room, starts at the sound of his voice, and turns to Phil with a meow so loud, it startles Phil fully awake.

Then the kitten is running up to him with a terrified look in its eye, still meowing loudly and incessantly at Phil as if Phil can understand it. Bewildered, Phil scoops the tiny kitten up into his hands, and brings it up to his face.

Its bright eyes are a dark color that Phil can’t place.

“Hey, little buddy, calm down,” Phil whispers, stroking over the top of its head with the tip of one finger, shushing it with each new cry from its terrified little mouth. “You’re gonna be okay, I promise,” he says, smiling even as its claws sink into the skin of his palm.

“Are you hungry?” he asks it, when it just continues to cry at him, its pitiful little squeaks getting louder and more piercing with each passing moment. It gets so bad that Phil cuddles it into his chest and stands up quickly, rushing into the kitchen in the hopes that feeding it _something_ will get it to stop yowling.

“Okay, okay, I’ll get you some cream!” he says, even as its little claws sink into his shirt almost viciously. Its body is warm over Phil’s heart, so he forgives it even as he feels a sneeze tickling at his nose and his throat starting to close up.

That’s when he finds Dan, lying on the kitchen floor, lapping up milk from a puddle on the tile with his _tongue_ , an upturned bottle of milk on the counter above him. The bottle’s still dripping, but the majority of its contents at this point appear to be sliding down the cupboard doors or in Dan’s stomach.

Horrified and confused, Phil nearly drops the kitten. Its death like grasp on his shirt is the only thing that keeps is attached to him, and his yowling gets the attention of Phil’s boyfriend in an instant.

That’s when things get even weirder, because all of a sudden, Dan is hunched over weirdly and hissing up at Phil and the startled kitten, his back arched like a cat’s.

“Dan?” Phil asks cautiously, eyes wide. He gets no answer, but the kitten in his arms has stopped screaming. “Dan, what’s going on?” he asks again, terrified. Dan doesn’t answer, but he does glare at Phil before returning to the milk on the ground.

Dumbfounded, all Phil can do is watch.

The kitten meows again. Phil looks down at it, and suddenly realizes why its eyes looked so familiar before. They’re the same brown color of Dan’s eyes, and it’s clear that something is terribly, terribly wrong.

“Oh my God,” Phil whispers, and then slowly lowers himself to the ground. His hands cup around the tiny kitten’s body and pull him away from his chest so he’s directly in front of Phil’s face again, little feet dangling and tail flicking dangerously.

“Dan?” Phil asks, face crumbling when the kitten meows. “Fuck, Dan, what happened?” he whispers, trying to ignore the obviously irritated look on the kittens face as he turns his gaze back down to his cat like boyfriend, still lapping away at the milk covering the tiled floor.

Dan’s tail flicks, slapping against Phil’s arm lightly. Phil lowers him to his lap, and tilts his head back against the fridge.

“What are we going to do?” he moans.

\--

After taking a twenty minute break from kitten Dan due to his allergies, they end up in the lounge. Dan’s 6ft body has been locked up in the bathroom, where he can do the least amount of damage, while Dan and Phil lay on the sofa together, Phil’s laptop balanced on his knees while kitten Dan cuddles into his chest, his little brown tipped ears twitching against Phil’s chin with each scroll of the mouse.

Unsure what to do about his boyfriend and an unknown cat switching bodies, Phil had immediately turned to the internet. The little snuffle from Dan had told him of his boyfriend’s contention with the plan, but Phil had ignored it. For a while, Dan had even chosen to sulk at the edge of the sofa, but he was quick to find warmth in Phil’s embrace. Through the reflection of his screen, Phil can even tell that the tiny kitten is reading along with him at this point.

Not that they’re finding anything.

“Dan?” Phil asks, once he’s been forced to click over to the 3rd page of google results. A tiny mew is his response.

“I don’t think this is working.”

The look the kitten gives him through his laptop screen portrays Dan’s “You think?” so well Phil can’t help but laugh, and he shuts the Mac so he can move it to the coffee table in front of him, one hand cupping beneath Dan’s kitten bum to hold him in place.

Then, Phil is sprawling out over the sofa, and settling down for bed.

“Look, there’s no point in searching anymore at this hour, is there?” Phil asks when Dan growls at him. “I’m exhausted. I didn’t get to bed until two, and it’s already six! Give me a break, Dan,” he says, reaching down to pet the soft head of his boyfriend again.

He smiles when Dan seemingly unwillingly begins to purr, and strokes under his chin. Dan’s kitten eyes close softly as he nuzzles into Phil’s palm, paws relaxing against Phil’s chest for the first time all night. Then, Dan’s entire body goes limp, and he sprawls out all over Phil’s chest, belly exposed.

Chuckling, Phil reaches down to stroke it with his other hand, fingers playing with Dan’s soft little toes. Dan meows at him, but doesn’t bat his fingers away, so Phil takes that as permission, scratching behind Dan’s ears and stroking his hip at the same time.

After a few more moments of Phil petting Dan’s soft grey fur, he sees Dan’s tiny body take in one last huge breath and let it out, and then it’s clear he’s gone to sleep. Chuckling, Phil closes his eyes, and goes to sleep as well.

Whatever this is, they’ll figure it out in the morning. In the meantime, Phil’s just going to enjoy his boyfriend as a cat, and try to breathe through the allergies.

\--

The sound of the doorbell going off jolts Phil awake. He sits up with a loud gasp, hand immediately going to his throat where an annoying pressure has begun to build, and immediately remembers last night. Surely enough, when he looks down he finds a very disgruntled looking kitten Dan, whose tail is swishing angrily in Phil’s lap. He meows up at Phil in irritation, and then the doorbell goes again.

Jumping up, Phil deposits Dan on the sofa, and jogs to the front door. The sound of tiny feet pounding after him lets him know that Dan’s followed after him, but he needs a break from holding him before his throat completely swells closed and he stops breathing before he can set Dan back to rights, so he ignores him and answers the door.

The sight that greets him is unexpected. A long haired women wearing a robe stands in his doorway, her green eyes unblinking, and for a moment, Phil thinks he might recognize her.

“Excuse me, sir. But I think you might have something of mine,” the lady says, staring down her hooked nose at Phil. Then her eyes flick to Phil’s feet, and her eyes light up. “Aw yes, you’ve found him!” she coos, pushing past Phil and into his apartment.

“Now where’s his counterpart?” she asks, not waiting for a response. Phil, for his part, is too dumb struck to respond, standing slack-jawed in the doorway while Dan hisses from his feet. The lady ignores them both, disappearing up the stairs, Dan springing after her.

Finally back in control, Phil chases after both of them, following the sound of Dan’s angry cries as he goes, unsure of whatever the hell is going on. A moment later, the crying stops, and Phil manages to skirt tale into the now open bathroom where the lady is holding kitten Dan by the scruff of his neck, Dan’s body passed out on the ground.

She turns to Phil with a happy grin, and pushes past him.

“Wait, where are you going with Dan!?” Phil yells after here, grabbing at her arm. A painful shock goes up his arm, and he immediately lets her go again, gasping. She turns to him.

“ _Dan_ is in the bathroom. I’ve already re-made the switch, and everything’s in order. I do hope I never see you again, Mr. Lester, and do be careful who you bump into in the future,” she says, and then she’s gone.

Bewildered, Phil follows after her, only to hear the door slamming shut before he’s even made it to the stairs. Taking the steps two at a time, Phil throws it back open, and scans up and down the hall, but the lady’s gone.

It takes him a moment, but then he remembers where he’s seen her before: the same blond hair swishing as she walked, the same dark robe, and a tiny mewing sound coming from her pocket.

He returns to the bathroom just in time to see Dan waking up, and rushes to his side.

“Dan? Dan, are you okay?” he asks, touch light on Dan’s arm.

Dan groans. “What happened?” he asks, cradling his head as he sits up. “Wasn’t I a cat?”

Chuckling, Phil pulls Dan into his arms, and kisses his neck.

“Yeah, you were. But everything’s fine now,” he explains. “I think I just might have accidentally hijacked a magical kitten yesterday afternoon, but everything’s fine now.”


End file.
